Monday, November 15, 2004

"The world is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death." -- Auntie Mame

I often catch myself playing the Poor Sucker. It's a role that I know as well as if I had written it myself. It's familiar, as comfortable as that old sweater I pulled out of the closet this morning. The world is a terrible, exhilarating, horrifying, joyful place, a Banquet of Earthly Delights, and I'm starving to death. I have Life Anorexia. Over the course of many years, I have trained myself to see only the dark side of things and never allow myself to take part in the fun. It's a habit that's really hard to break.

It's very easy to operate one-dimensionally, but the easy, facile answer is never the best one. We all assume the world would be wonderful if only things worked as they should. Wait a minute! Who's "shoulds" should we live by? Mine? Yours? Hers? Theirs? Nobody has all the answers. Few of us have any real answers at all. We assume that we do so we don't have to face our fear and uncertainty.

The world is a messy, complicated place inhabited by messy, complicated people. "If only" is unfortunately not an option. We have to deal with what is, not what we wish. After all, "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride". Beware of "should".

Hmmm. I seem to have wandered away from my original thoughts. Maybe I should back up and try again.

On the other hand, maybe I won't.

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The good stuff

Finished "Done to Undeath" last night and submitted it to Vision this morning. As many times as I have submitted stories and articles to various markets, I still get a few butterflies. It's the middle of NaNoWriMo, so it will probably be a while before Zette has a chance to respond. No worries. I have plenty more to work on.

Didn't get any fiction done today on account of transportation issues. My wife's Jeep is in the shop with a broken brake rotor. $350 that we can't afford. Oh well, we have no choice.

"Where have all the flowers gone?" -- Peter, Paul, and Mary

It's winter, dumbass! Well, almost, anyway. :) We had our first frost this morning. The cats are claiming their laps for the winter.


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