Monday, December 13, 2004

Rough seas and gale force winds

No wordcount today. I've been reworking the outline for WITB in light of the developments of the past couple of chapters. I think it's going in a much better direction now. More action, less talk. That will be for the best.

Other than that, things have been going to Hell in a hurry around here. The feud in my wife's family erupted into a firefight over the weekend. Massive drama, arguing, loud voices, crying, etc. There's nothing as vicious as sisters fighting. I am desperately trying to avoid getting drawn into the middle of it. That's just more trauma than I really need.

This fight has been an ongoing thing for many, many years, pretty much since they were children. It's just now flashing into open warfare, now that their mother is gone. It's not a benefit that they're all strong-willed (often bull-headed) and absolutely unwilling to budge, much less compromise.

What really hurts me is to see how they play each other and push each others' buttons. In no time at all, a calm, reasonable conversation can turn into a high-tension scream-a-thon. Most of the time, they can't tell me what they're fighting about. Certain words just evoke a massive Mutually-Assured-Destruction knee-jerk.

In the work I have done on myself over the past months, I have learned how to abstract myself to a certain extent and observe what I'm doing and how I'm reacting. I cen't always control my instinctive reactions, yet, but I can recognize them for what they are and try to figure out why I feel so threatened in certain situations. My wife is unwilling to do that at this time., so all I can do is stand by and watch them dance to each other's tunes. I really hate that.


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