Monday, August 22, 2005

A Whack Upside the Head

Following Holly's recommendation, I tracked down and bought Your Heart's Desire and The Psychic Pathway, both by Sonia Choquette. I have finished the first and am almost through the second. Let me just second Holly's recommendation. Excellent additions to my bookshelf.

So I was thinking this morning. Should-can-will I follow Choquette's Prcinciples to my Heart's Desire? Over the past few years, I have come to trust the Tarot to help me see my way. So I held my favorite deck (Rider-Waite) for a few minutes while I meditated on this question. Then I drew a card. Ace of Pentacles. In layman's terms: What the hell are you doing sitting there playing with cards? Get your ass in gear!

On the Ace of Pentacles, a hand descends from a cloud holding a golden disc inscribed with a Pentacle. The scene includes white lillies blooming against a hedge. In the hedge is an open archway. A path leads to the opening, through which we can see distant mountains. This ain't symbolism; this is a whack upside my head. All I need to do (all!) is take one step forward, then another. When I get to the archway, I can step through. Eventually, I can get to the mountains. One step at a time. The Pentacle-inscribed coin is a talisman, an investment in me by the Universe. The Universe believes in me. I only have to believe in myself. Only.

OK. First Principle: focus, attention, intention. Determine my Heart's Desire, pay attention to it, and intend to get it. I find an eerie parallel here to The Teachings of don Juan by Carlos Castaneda, which I am re-reading for the God-only-knows-how-many-th time. "Choose a path with a heart", don Juan says. Focus on it. Pay attention to your path and the world around you. Follow it with "unbending intent".

So what is my Heart's Desire? Good question. Right now, I have several areas I need to look closely at: finances, writing, spiritual growth, etc. I see deep thought and meditation in my future.

Ultimately, the quest for my Heart's Desire is the search for an answer to one of Life's great questions: Why am I here? What is the purpose in my life. If I am to excape the bottomless angst that has plagued me since I could think, I need to answer that question. It is intimately bound up with the question that is my major concern right now: Who am I? In order to identify myself as an authentic, self-respect-worthy human being, I have to know what I am doing here and how to go about fulfilling my destiny.

I'll deal with the fear as it arises. I have to focus my intent on my purpose and always keep in mind that the Universe want me to succeed. It told me so in no uncertain terms.


At 4:06 PM, Blogger Heather Lynne said...

Carter, you are an inspiration!

At 10:39 AM, Blogger Holly said...

Glad you liked the books. They've been great for me.

One step after another, you'll do it.


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