Sleeping With Strangers

I had my sleep study done last night, though how much study they got done is questionable given the amount of sleep I got. I don't do well in a strange environment with all kinds of electrodes and other dingleberries attached to me. The final total of hardware that I had to wear was:

• 5 EEG leads on my scalp. During the 4 hours or so I did manage to sleep, I had some awfully funky dreams. That readout should be interesting.


• 2 sensors attached behind my ears so they could listen to my snoring. I'm sure they got an earful of that.


• 2 sensors (1 on each side) to detect and measure jaw clenching and teeth grinding.


• 2 ECG sensors on my upper back


• 2 sensors on each leg below the knee to see how much I thrash around


• 1 belt around my chest to measure heartbeat


• 1 belt around my abdomen to measure breathing rate and volume


• 1 sensor stuck in my nose so they could tell when and how long I might stop breathing. This one was similar to those oxygen tubes with the elastic band that goes around your head. Damned aggravating.


• 1 pulse-ox sensor taped to the index finger of my left hand

When I got out of bed this morning, I expected to hear a mad scientist crying "It's alive! It's alive!". I sure had the personality of a monster. I don't do mornings well as it is. At 5am this morning, I was not a happy camper. And the glue from the EEG sensors left me the worst case of pillow-hair in history. And I forgot to bring a cap, so I had to walk through the hospital like that. I could practically see the townspeople scurrying for cover as I stalked out.

On top of all that, there was a closed-circuit video camera recording every sound and movement. Hope they at least got some good movies.

Now I wait and let the doctors try to figure out if they can do anything to help me sleep. I sure hope so. I don't even remember the last time I woke up feeling refreshed and rested. I know it's been a lot of years.

That's one Damoclean sword out of the way, anyway. Onward.